This weekend (on Saturday 2/20 & Sunday 2/21) I will perform a piece from Dress in Something Plain and Dark in the Senior Transitions Concert at ASU.
The piece is called "How Does it Feel to be Back Here Again?" It is a bulky and long working title that I don't like, but it describes the piece pretty aptly.
because this is a piece about attending church,
but is not about attending religiously. Instead it explores the cyclical rhythm of rejection, indifference, separation, and return; ways of leaving and ways of coming back; methods of avoiding and methods of committing.
It comes from:
1. the unexplained appearance of a black cloth on my bicycle days after the phrase "dress in something plain and dark" first into my consciousness and began to loop on repeat.
2. The audacity and exasperation of Di Brandt (and so many other women who quit the church) when she says "I've tried everything"
3. and my own whispered rebuttal: "but have I really?"
4. the physical sensation of being confined inside an unmoving body during the service that goes on... and on... and on... as words I don't believe swim around me, over me, of fading in and out of awareness and presence, of slowly suffocating under the weight of God the Father.
5. and the question: why do we keep going back?